Today, the question is why do I run. I'm often asked that, I think for obvious reasons, I'm clearly no natural athlete but also because as some people already know, I have a bum knee from a serious and tragic car accident in which my Uncle was killed and I was injured and because I have asthma. The simple answer is very cliche, I do it because people think I can't but also because I thought I couldn't. Over 5 years ago when my then husband and I were having trouble and we separated I went through a party phase (nothing new to me). Then when I found out he had been having an affair with someone I sort of considered a friend, I thought my life was over because my marriage was. Because I had failed. It has defined me for the most part since then, but that has slowly changed over the years as I have grown and welcomed other things into my life such as running. My party phase ended because I needed something more in my life and exercise is awesome all the way around. Mentally and physically it does nothing but better you. I have been off and on with running the past 4 years, I have completed several 5Ks and one 8K, I have stopped and started more times than you could count. But I always keep coming back and each time I get a little better, a little faster even though I am one slow ass runner. But I'm doing it and that makes me feel PROUD. And we all need something to feel good about ourselves. It's challenging physically and it is a major challenge mentally. I've learned SO much through running. Discipline, not giving up, training through injuries and knowing when to rest. I am competing against myself to be better each time. Plus I feel like a badass when I am running, even if it isn't easy. When you are done you feel BADASS!
Some days are harder than others for my running, such as today, my inhaler is beat. But I did my mileage anyway even though I was gasping a lot. Some days, not that often, I do get that famed "runner's high," and I think I could just run forever if only I had time. Running also gives me quality time with music blasting in my ear. Music pretty much makes my life and it makes running bearable for me, because above all else, running is hard. It's not pretty, at least not for me. And I've discovered racing. I love racing!! The energy, the atmosphere, it is awesome! And some of the bigger races like the Yuengling Half and Full Marathon/8K which I am doing again in March at Virginia Beach have free beer at the end and bands playing on the beach. How much better can it get?! Some of my favorite things thrown together! There is nothing like running your last miles on the boardwalk, receiving your medal, then chilling on the beach with great music, beer, food and other like minded people.
So that's why I run. And some people sort of hate on it, but that's okay. You don't have to cheer me on although I would welcome it, because I can do it myself. I've gotten myself this far and I will continue on.
My dream is one day to meet a man to share my life with who also shares my love of running or at least my love of fitness and it's importance in life, as well as other things of course. Someone who may not want to run with me but will support me and encourage me. I hope I would never settle again, because I gave and gave of my self to someone who wasn't ready or willing to accept that kind of love or me as I am with my imperfections. I'm a happy person now, but it took hard ass work to get here. And I'm happy, so happy with my little life, even though I'd love to share it with someone, it's okay if I don't, I am still fulfilled. So as you see, what once defined my life, thankfully, no longer does but it's also a process that is continuing and I couldn't have done it without running. Or my ex-husband, and for that I thank him because without that devastation, I would not be where I am now. I would not have running. I would not be the Me I am now, and I like that Me.
Side note: I am still a Rockstar when I want to be, those who know me IRL (In Real Life) certainly know that. I think it's just part of who I am. But there's so much more to me, I hope you give me the time to get to know me and find that out. I'd like to know all of you in depth as well. Connecting is what it's all about.
So join me sometime at the gym for a run or a class. I promise we will have fun!
I'll leave you with one of my favorite race shirts, Real Girls Run. Yes, another reason I love races, you get cool "free" stuff!
Edit I: My marriage didn't end solely because of the affair, we had issues. We both contributed, as usually is the case with any divorce. Could we have worked it out if someone else wasn't involved? Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn't matter.
Edit II: Never feel like because a relationship ends that your life is over. There is so much in life to enjoy. Yes, we all want companionship, support, an awesome sex life, family and love, but you can have all those things in different places, in different ways. Just never settle to have it, it's not worth it. Look around, really get to know people, enjoy what life has to offer, be adventurous - whatever that means to you. Appreciate even the low, bad times somehow, it makes the great times that much better. Life is not fair, life is not easy, but we're here. Let's rock it.
Okay I think that's enough cliche bullshit for one day! It's corny, but I love it. And it works for me. Look how far I've come!
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